Hands sweat coldly. Heart pounds loudly. Eyes are sparkling. Feelings are undescribable when we are with person we call our boyfriend.
It seems like yesterday when we kept on wishing to have one. It feels so envious when everyone has their own dates everytime we go out alone. Thay have the one who hold their hands, arms around each others' shoulders, and laugh with ; while here we are, showing to be happy all by ourselves. Yes, we are happy singles but of course we cannot deny to ourselves how we are happier if we have someone that is ours.
We have heard enough stories from our friends how their love stories start, run down, survive and the worst, surrendered. We have watched movies and read pocketbooks and novels how love is not easy. And when we are finally get there, its a love story far beyond we heard, watched and read.
Its scary to enter a relationship for the first time. Scary for the fact that we dont know to be a girlfriend. From being NBSB, we begun to ask ourselves; "Can I fulfill this new role correctly?", "How can I make him happier in this relationship?". Entering a relationship is a risk. If we dont go for it, we will never experience the ups and downs of love. For love can be confusing, complicated and heart breaking but love can also be sweet, wonderful and magical. I believe, we deserve to take the risk and experience all these.
The world starts to revolve differently. We dont go alone anymore when we hang out.Someone is now interested how was our day. We have now another reason why we wake up everyday.
Every moment together is always cherished and remembered. From the moment we said our sweetest yes, the first holding hands, the first hug and the feeling of awkard because he felt the fast beating of our heart, the first kiss and those moments we avoid it because we were too nervous to do it, the first date and etc. His text messages, comments and chats are read several times and find it hard to delete. His gifts and surprises are well-kept. Every word said are stamped in mind and heart. Pictures together are checked befor going to sleep. And we can't avoid getting excited how we would celebrate our first month with him, first Christmas, first Valentine's Day and anniversaries. We cant avoid comparing our love story from our friends' because we want it to be as sweet as theirs.
We find ourselves smiling for no reasons. Who would not? He is the first thing that comes in our mind when we wake up and the last at night. And it feels like we see him wherever we go. Everyone starts telling us that our eyes are full of hearts. We start to pray that this kind of heart burning moments will last.
But love is not always rainbows and butterflies. There are times that we are afraid that simple reactions and action may start an argument or worst, end. We tell ourselves not to get angry or jealous. But no matter what reasons we tell ourselves not to be, we can't avoid it beacuse we are afraid to lose him. We blame ourselves by the things we missed to do and the things we did. We blame ourselves because of being inexperienced. But that must not be because there is no perfect in relationship. We make mistakes. He make mistakes. Sooner or later we realized the one we fall in love with, is far from our ideal. But this is the challenge for every woman and man inlove. Its not easy to accept one's weakness. But if we truly love one person, we dont only accept his/her weakness but we must love it too. For love is not always when we are in our best but also at worst. These mistakes must not break the both. It must be the instrument that will help the relationship stronger.
We find oursleves hurt by simple arguments. This is the time we cry a lot. But I guess this is normal in a relationship because if we dont get hurt, we dont love.
But after all the rocky roads we experienced in a ralationship, in the end, they are our partner. Not only our boyfriend but also bestfriend and a part of the family someday. No matter what down moments we had with him, as the song says, "I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else.I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself".
The first may not be easy but lets not forget that we have ourselves to take care, too. If don't take care and love ourselve, how can we love other person?
Our first may not be our last but the important is we learn how to love and be loved. :)
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